Insane realizations about my trip to Italy

Hello my lovely blog readers or just “hello self,” as the case may be.  I am not doing a real wine review here, but rather, filling you in on how I am going to make up for my deficit of wine reviews:  I am going to ITALY on Thursday! (I travel more than I deserve to… thank you family!)

Allow me to  present:

“Insane realizations about my upcoming trip to Italy”

To begin with, my family suckered me into invited me to go to Venice in order to paddle on their team in huge boat  in a race like this: (No I am not kidding).   A little bad ass, right?

As it turns out… the race looks a little more like this:

Oh, you thought I was kidding? No really, this is the "race."

See the similarities?

The race is the VogaLongo, which takes place for 19!! miles through the Venice waterways.  About which, Outside magazine conveniently published an article in last month’s issue!  Insane realization #1 about this trip: the article makes the race sound… I’ll be honest… a little horrific.  Like a traffic jam in caramel.   The team in the boat is made up of my mom, my brother (coach), Mom’s hubby D and his 2 daughters and…. a crew of 12 other fantastic people.  Insane realization #2 about this trip: my family easily makes up about half of this boat. #Julia’sfamilyisridiculous. Oh, maybe you would like a picture?  Here we are!

This is my family.

So here we have my brother in the boat in black, sans life jacket… clearly has already been in the water and out… oh and hey look!  There’s my mom!  Hanging ON to the other side of the boat IN the water!  These are the people I am paddling with.  Oh and these boats?  “Never tip.”  SO THEY SAY!  I got proof!  Insane realization #3 about this trip: I am going to be swimming in the Venice water ways.  Oh dear.  Oh gross.  Why?  Well, clearly it’s how this team rolls (see above picture) but also for the following reason…

The reasons I know this trip is actually NOT about the “race” at all are twofold: 1) the pictures make the race look like someone could swim and finish first… and 2) I got this email from D, who is paddling and leading the trip:

“We should look like a team on the water (beyond our on board wine and cheese)”

I’m sorry, come again?  Insane realization #4 about this trip: we are actively engaging in drunk paddling!  But that’s my FAVORITE!  How did you know!?  In addition, after the race (which is only the first 2 days of the trip), we are spending 1 week at a villa, and by villa I mean… a villa at a Vineyard!!  What?  Yes.  Insane realization #5 about this trip: We are paddling in a silly race, while drinking wine, in order to give ourselves the excuse to take a week and drink more wine.. in Italy.   Apple falls not far from family tree,  eh?

So there you have it.  This is the once and future blog about wine.  I promise to update with WINE.. and apparently much of it… shortly.  Hopefully this trip is all it can be… and more.